My author and blogger social media engine is running hot. While it has been an incredible ride to see so many awesome things align in recent times, its been an arduous journey. Most followers only really see the end product and the good statistics I share but beneath all that is just one person doing his best to hold everything together.
Around twelve months ago I took a vow to carry on through whatever this world threw us. We’re still in a very real pandemic situation that is still rocking our world to the core. Carrying on is my way of coping, perhaps even plastering over the cracks of doubt or uncertainty. We all have our mechanisms to cope but with those mechanisms comes the eventuality that they’ll break down and weaken. The reason I say my engine is running hot is because everyday I have been out there showing up and carving a following from near enough nothing. My social media following statistics are quite incredible but there is also a price and quite soon I am envisioning a slight step back. There are a stack of non-author things on my to do list and they are building up.
For every wonderful moment I have on social media every now and then I’ll come across something that effects my mental health. A bad engagement or even something I just scroll past can be a trigger and this becomes all the more prevalent when you spend more time exposed to it. For all the good things that have come from social media, I need a break, I’m fine, but I need a break and I need to go back to the writing…
May 2021 is shaping up to be the ultimate culmination of 8 years work. 8 years that began with a leap of faith into the unknown world of authoring and blogging. I’ve always had a weird relationship with luck along with always somehow being in the right time/right place. Things seem to just weirdly align although I will say that carrying on through everything in those 8 years is finally paying off. And those who do carry on no matter what have my greatest respect.
In art and creativity, we can only get better by showing up day by day and making progress step by step. Progress can be measured by time and what we do with it. Recently I’ve never been busier as social media and the writing demand more and more attention. Its started to carve a rather trailblazing path paved by those looking to me for advice and wisdom; a somewhat foreign but ultimately humbling feeling. People trust what I have to say and I have always believed that my own words are honest and good. Perhaps honesty is all that matters.
This journey has become a responsibility, a responsibility to do authoring and blogging justice by telling the world that our own induvial words, our books and our content matters. We can forge a following from zero, we can build from scratch and our words can stand on their own two feet upright and shoulder to shoulder with every generation before us. I am determined to prove that and so much more.
With my eyes firmly set on a month that is going to define my entire journey as an independently published author and blogger I have never been so ready because for the first time in all of this, I have momentum.
Things are shaping up rather well for Book #7. It’s edited and pretty much ready for BETA reader eyes. Only then will I really know if we’ve got something good. Perhaps that’s always been the thrill for me, putting out a book and not knowing how it will be received.
Fashioning everything I have learned in both authoring and blogging has been something I’ve had to re-visit a number of times since August because the learning curves are still emerging from this journey that’s continual. Figuring this whole deal out from scratch has given me a bunch of stuff to write about with hopes just an ounce of it will be effectively passed on to someone who needs it. In this world of authoring and blogging online there is no better feeling than helping others and then seeing them succeed. I’ve said before a victory for one author is a victory for all.
Reviews are still coming in for The Teleporter which seems to still be selling even at a higher price. Perhaps soon I should do another promo run just to capitalise on the exposure it continues to have. The only thing is now, that book has a huge amount of reviews compared to everything else. I should get promoting them. New eyes seem to be on this blog and near enough every effort I have online, it’s kind of strange…
Having your book presented to a mainstream level of readers is not always going to work out well. It seems the more readers a book gets the more scathing reviews it can pick up. Truthfully just yesterday while watching the rating for The Teleporter slip after being torpedoed by just a handful of low ratings began to take it’s toll on my mental health.
I’ve been here before but just not on this scale. Perhaps a particular insulting and scathing review tipped me over the edge to sigh-ville but for a comedy that’s supposed to be on the lighter scale of things, people have sure been hurtful in their verdict of it. Does comedy indirectly incite foul people because some of the reactions have been just that. I’m not preaching, I’m not whining, I’m venting – releasing a book into this world makes it open for any criticism from anyone but the level in which some will stoop to try and insult me beyond my work is simply baffling. I had no idea people like this exist and that’s not me being naïve, I mean it’s just a comedy.
Perhaps this is the ultimate price for success in authoring – there will always be jealous foul fucks who want a reaction. Perhaps they are trying to match the comedy of the content but jut not very well. Maybe seeing these hatred filled words is the arrival of an author. After all just good reviews is suspicious. I’m stronger than this, I’m better than this and I’m better for venting on here. The backing I have on twitter came to my rescue yesterday after sharing my woes with those who care. If you think writing scathing reviews for a book that wasn’t your cup of tea and you think that’s a productive way to spend your life then carry on, you’ll gain no respect for it, asshole. You got it for free anyway so your review ultimately means nothing to anyone.
I’m off booze. Abstaining from excessive snacking. Taken away the junk. But still scales you deceive me with your consistent high numbers… Is this lock down fat more stubborn? Is the increased amount of running not enough? What else do I need to do in order to get that number you deceive me with down, you dirty deceiver…
There ain’t much to get out of bed early for in these times. To go running so I don’t get heat stroke or have to cross the damn street because everyone and their mates dog has taken up walking. I get up for that and for the weigh in with hopes its less than before. Still the results aren’t happening. I’m literally running distances I haven’t since the beginning of my twenties. Injuries throughout the past ten years kept me back but now I am bombarding this campaign with good stuff.
Do I have to take away everything nice I eat and drink in order to drop just one measly pound. Just one less than yesterday please. Must heaven and earth be moved for just a slight decline in numbers? God I’ve never been so damn hungry…
There is no shame in having anxiety. We should never beat ourselves up for what is essentially a reaction or a feeling to something. Like a suspension bridge the cables and struts of it’s anatomy only have a certain tolerance, own own cables and struts (emotions) are under the same stress.
It’s a natural normal thing to feel anxious and the triggers can spring up from anywhere. That big presentation, a speech, an important game and even getting on that plane (for me). Rationalization is hard thing to find in the murk and dark of anxiety, every little thing becomes heightened. It can be hell for sometimes days before and then the actual experience may turn out to have all been in our heads (but even after I still hate flying).
We can debilitate ourselves with thoughts alone, and maybe we were being silly in that moment, but that’s not tackling the issue, that’s just a dismissal. In this day and age especially we must talk about our emotions, they lead us through that murk. Depression, anxiety, nervousness, worry, they are all considered as bad feelings, but they are normal reactions to the life we live. It’s okay to have these feelings, sometimes every day.
The next time you lift something heavy or god forbid do a plank, your arms or abdominal muscles begin to shake, that’s because they are working and again that is something normal like emotion.
In a world where all of us strife to be different we all have one thing that is the same, our emotions, so let’s bloody talk about them more!