WWE Money in the Bank 2017 Results

And so I haven’t blogged in a while and the next WWE pay per view event just happened to be on. So here are my as it happened results from last night…

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First ever women’s Money in the Bank Ladder Match

Charlotte Flair v Becky Lynch v Tamina v Carmella w/J Ellsworth v Natalya

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I get the whole historic thing about this being historic and all especially how women used to be seen in WWE. So after the competitors hit the ring we are shown a promo about the stakes and those who paved the way, nods are made to Moolah, Mae Young, Alundra and even Trish Stratus. All which have contributed to the history of womens wrestling!

The bell rings with a 5 way stand off. Everyone bolts out of the ring for ladders leaving Tamina. As everyone returns she defends her position and eventually holds the ring whilst showing some impressive dominance. Early on we see the usual ladder spots these matches are known for. Natalya takes a slingshot into a corner stuffed ladder. Becky Lynch eats ladder in another corner. Tamina eventually runs out of steam and is downed as both the Lass Kicker and Natalya wrestle either end of a ladder.

Lynch eventually receives a scoop slam onto the ladder for her efforts leaving Nattie to set up the first ladder under the brief case.

Audience half heartedly boo as she climbs and grips the case. Flair intervenes and eventually battes her way into an electric chair drop to Natalya. Woo’s all around as Flair positions the ladder. It’s Carmella’s turn and she pulls Charlotte down with one of her legs painfully going between a rung. They both exchange blows at the top of the ladder. Charlotte comes within moments of winning until Tamina hits the ring and pushes the ladder. Both Carmella and Flair go down.

‘This is awesome’ the audience chant as they come alive to see Natalya put in the sharpshooter to Becky Lynch. Carmella soon breaks them up along with Flair. Natalya proceeds to dominate and is whipped into a ladder by Lynch.

This match is a back and fourth between everyone #obvioustatement.

Carmella is looking impressive as she flips Lynch from a corner ladder and heads up the rungs towards being the first Miss Money in the Bank. Charlotte intervenes and cleans house as Tamina works on the outside.

Flair is up high with Tamina on the same side of the ladder. They both fall.

Action heads out of the ring with Charlotte half heartedly spearing Tamina into steel steps. She climbs up onto the apron and top rope to execute a high risk twisting flip into both Tamina and Natalya, #impressed .

Carmella is all alone as she climbs but Lynch puts in the save and converts Carmella’s position into a power bomb. The crowd chant Becky’s name as she reaches up but Ellsworth is there! He tip the ladder for her to fall in this no DQ match. He begins to clumb himself and grabs the brief case. Dropping it to Carmella the bell rings as we cut away to 3 referees arguing. ‘He’s not in the match’ one of them says repeatedly.

Ellsworth announces it on the microphone and her music plays. Is that it? Really? Where’s the damn GM? (apparently on paternity leave #fatherhood)

Result: Carmella is the first ever Miss Money in the Bank

Verdict: A decent standard ladder match with everyone going high risk. Long are the days gone of what the standard of women’s matches used to be and its for the better. Action packed and well paced. Shame about the ending, but it’s sports entertainment I guess…

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Smackdown Tag Team Championship Match

The New Day v The Uso’s (c)

Proceedings begin with of course a new day promo for the St Louis crowd. The match begins with Kofi Kingston partnered with Big E. For the first portion Kofi is essentially squashed by the champs. A few brutal moves including Kofi being thrown out of the ring and then going into the ring post. The Uso’s follow the typical heel regular tag work whilst keeping Kofi down but he eventually battles to a Big E tag.

Big E delivers a few big time belly to belly suplexes and turns the tide. Kofi recovers and tags in for Big E to pull off a middle rope dive.

Back in the ring Kofi is on his own and near to tapping. Jey Uso superkicks Big E as he hits the ring. Kofi modifies and reverses a kick into a reverse choke hold. Kofi hits the SOS only for Jey to kick out at two and a half.

Blind tag by Big E as Kofi receives a superkick but Big E is legal and puts in the big ending which gets broken up at two and three quarters.

Xavier makes the trumpet distraction as the Usos move to the apron. They block a Big E mid rope dive and he tags Kofi. Over the other side Kofi dives out of the ring into the Uso’s and the new day hit the midnight hour only for another kick out. They aren’t going to win this if the Uso’s are going to kick out of everything!

Both Uso’s are out of the ring as the referee begins to count. They are walking away towards the belts and ring bell area. The ref counts to 10 and the bell rings. Poor ending.

Result: Uso’s retain after being disqualified for a 10 count

Verdict: High octane and action packed from both equally matched teams. The Uso’s just kept kicking out and made the theme of this PPV probably an all heel affair.

Smackdown Women’s championship match

Naomi (c) v Lana

So we have the neon queen vs the russian prom queen? Lana seems to represent the traditional diva type WWE are known for recruiting in the past. I’m interested to see how she will wrestle in her second career ever match.

The ravishing Russian brutally dominates to begin with but Naomi is there to put in the reality check. There comes some annoying screaming from Lana as she evades a cross body and goes for a two count pin attempt.

They head outside which seems to be the formula for every WWE match everywhere! Lana continues to excert her dominance by moving the pair both into the ring for a lock hold. She takes down the champion with a spiteful slam and follows up with two suplex’s. Lana is targeting Naomi’s legs here with a knee bending hold over the bottom rope. Again the annoying screams are protruding from Lana’s mouth as she goes for the left leg once more.

Naomi reverses into an arm breaker and subsequent kick to Lana’s head as the tide begins to turn.  Naomi hits a series of high kicks to the blonde head of Lana whose just about hanging in there as she evades to the outside only to return quickly to get the upper hand again.

Commentary team are surprised at her resilience as she goes for a sit down spine breaker. Naomi kicks out at two as Carmella’s entrance music hits! She’s bringing the MITB briefcase with her and is about to present it but stops.

The match continues with Lana dominating again now with the obvious distraction outside.

Naomi hits the same submission she used to win the belt at Wrestlemania, the commentary team failed to name this move as Carmella is contemplating a cash in but eventually heads to the back.

Result: Naomi wins via submission.

Verdict: Impressive dominance and arrival from Lana. I expect her to eventually win some matches and even a belt.

Next up a surprise return of Maria Kanellis and some guy called Mike. Good to see her back! She cuts a promo about being the ‘first lady’ being back in WWE. They’ve got some kind of love angle which is immediately cheesy, but again this ‘sports entertainment’.

Next the boring trio commentary team discuss what’s happened already in the event. We then move into the heavily Indian fan catered for promo of Jinder Mahal’s first championship defence. They even used English subtitles. I guess the Indian fan base is a big money draw for WWE hence why this guy is champion whilst we still wait for several other countries with a more established following for their world champion.

After the promo we see a line-up of local legends sat in the front row including: Greg Gagne, Larry ‘the axe’ Hennig, Baron Von Rashcke, Sgt. Slaughter, Cowboy Bob Orton Jnr and of course the nature boy Ric Flair wooooooo!

Jinder Mahal’s sidekicks appear and introduce the angry champion to almost zero crowd reaction here at Heelmania… I mean money in the bank but there seems to just be a hige heel emphasis in WWE right now and even with the brand extension and amount of talent each roster has it’s not working. Bring back joint PPVS.

Orton appears to a big hometown pop.

WWE Championship Match

Jinder Mahal (c) V Randy Orton

Orton starts off strong and threaten with an early RKO only to evade and head outside within a minute. He heads back in only for the challenger to take him down and then suplex the champ onto the top rope. Game on Randy as he stomps on Mahal a few times and dominates. Even when the champion tries to come back he is shut down and sent out again, this time with Orton following. He delivers a clothesline and keeps Jinder’s sidekicks at bay who stay back.

They head back into the ring with no breathing room for Mahal. Orton goes for the middle rope DDT only for the sidekicks to get up on the apron and distract thus getting Orton thrown out. Mahal capitalizes outside the ring now as they go at it.

Orton is sent shoulder first into steel steps and they replay Orton being thrown out and somewhat damaging his leg/knee of course Mahal begins to work the injury. Didn’t we see this in the last match?

Mahal is thrown over the barrier and into the local legends. Ric Flair just smiles as the action moves to the announce table. Jinder sends Orton knee first on top of the table and gets tangled in wires before they both head back into the ring for perhaps some actual wrestling.

Orton finds his way back to domination and again they head outside.

Upon getting back in the ring theres another RKO attempt which Mahal converts into a deadly superkick. He has Orton down in the middle of the ring as he places a hold on the knee. Slowly the chapion is working his way back and just to insult the audience Mahal puts in the figure 4 leglock to Orton. The challenger flips the hold and reverses the effect but Mahal soon breaks the rope.

Again Mahal find his way to domination. They head up in the corner and set up a superplex which Orton prevents and then attempts himself and pulls it off. Mahal comfortably kicks out at 2 as they now begin to exchange big right hands. The crowd vocal in their exchanges of ‘boo’ and ‘yeah’. Orton gains momentum into a powerslam. This time he pulls off the mid rope DDT to Mahal and finds some rest as he taunts his hometown and looks to setting up for an RKO.

He hits the RKO on Mahal. One, Two…. The ‘singh’ brothers pull Mahal’s foot onto the bottom rope but the referee see’s it. He sends them out and on their way they parade past the legends but stop there. Words are exchanged and Cowboy Bob Orton is grabbed by the scruff for Randy to make the save. He throws them both individually into the announcers table in a brutal beatdown which is an an obvious distraction…

Orton heads back into the ring but is immediately targets by Mahal as he hits his signature move.

Result: Jinder Mahal retains WWE championship

Verdict: A predictable turn of events with Orton obviously going to be hustled in some way. He was. End of.

 

A promo plays of the next Raw PPV, are they actually calling in great balls of fire?

 

Undercard tag team match featuring Tyler Breeze and Fandango v the Ascension.

Why is this match going up after the title match? Strange booking which is probably a crowd cool down so they can go to the souvenir stands and get some beers in. That’s what I would have done.

Result: Breezango

Verdict: None

 

The money in the Bank ladder Match (men if you can call them that)

Kevin Owens v AJ Styles v Dolph Ziggler v Sammy Zayn v Baron Corbin v Shinsuke Nakamura

mitb3Proceedings begin early as Nakamura makes his entrance Baron Corbin attacks him from behind thus taking him out of the match. Perhaps a perfect opportunity for someone to return…

Referees are discussing stuff and the bell rings as five men begin to brawl.

Action spreads wide as Ziggler, Owens and Zayn head out. Corbin begins his assault of Styles and then goes for the others. It looks like Nakamura wont be involved as he is assisted to the back. Our first dive comes from Sammy Zayn into Kevin Owens and reignites their famous rivalry. Both Ziggler and Corbin look to team up which is quickly dashed by the nature of a ladder match.

The Zayn Owens face off continues as AJ makes his presence known in the ring. He pulls a ladder in for Ziggler to pull it away and is pushed back for his efforts.

Sammy Zayn hits another high risk manouver with a springboard flip into Corbin.

Owens hits a the 200th superkick of the night to AJ styles. He goes to swing the first ladder in the ring to the slowly recovering Styles but receives a drop toe hold for his efforts. They exchange shots. Styles clash attempted but he’s sent over the top by Owens who is now alone in the ring with a ladder. He begins to set up and leaves the ladder open but not up. Zayn enters the ring only to be shot back whilst Owens heads up to the top rope with a view of the others outside but in the last minite Zayn grabs hold of Owens and sends him into the open ladder!

Zayn discards the obviously twisted ladder and grabs another. He begins to set it for Ziggler to knock him and the ladder down and sets it up in the corner. He then throws Zayn into the ladder and goes to set it up. Dolph Ziggler climbs looking to be a two time MITB winner but Sammy Zayn stops that. They brawl momentarily before Zayn hits the thunder bomb on Ziggler. Zayn climbs for Baron Corbin to halt his efforts and sends the ladder down. AJ styles is in now and dominates Corbin with a view to grab a ladder.

Style and Corbin are at the top with the usual cliché of exchanging blows. Ziggler joins them before going above them he grabs the briefcase but his efforts are thwarted. He hits the zigzag from the ladder to Corbin.

Ziggler and AJ Styles climb with Zayn on the other side. All of them grasp high with Styles being knocked down. Sammy Zayn comes out on top and executes a flip powerbomb disposing of himself and Doplh Ziggler.

The audience think it’s awesome…

No clear winner is obvious right now as Sammy Zayn and Kevin Owens brawl on the apron. Zayn manages somehow to flip Owens back on the apron. An impressive feat for a small guy on the wider guy. Zayn heads into the ring and begins to climb but AJ Styles hits the phenomenal forearm from the top rope. Text book AJ.

Baron Corbin and AJ are now out of the ring brawling, everyone else appears to be down. Corbin catches the highflyer that is Styles and chokeslams him into a ladder, this crowd reaction is priceless!

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Best reaction Ever! 

Corbin heads in for Zayn to hit a kick and set up the ladder. He climbs up towards the brief case. Ziggler appears only to be kicked off by Zayn. Owens appears and hits a low blow to Zayn. Owens climbs for AJ Styles to appear. They go back and forth and move to the apron. Owens sets up for a powerbomb but AJ reverses and lifts him onto both shoulders. He then throws Owens through the set up ladder outside.

It’s AJ styles eyeing up the briefcase as he climbs. Dolph Ziggler pulls the ladder away but Styles is holding on up high. He’s swinging in the air but eventually falls to a hard bump.

Corbin throws Ziggler out and Shinsuke Nakamura is back and angrier than ever. He hits the ring as audience sing his song. He dominates Corbin impressively and knocks Corbin out of the ring. Here comes Ziggler but Nakamura has the momentum to not only take down Dolph but Sammy Zayn also.

Nakamura heads out and grabs a ladder which Kevin Owens is attached to. They wrestle for it a Nakamura hits a deadly kick and goes back to proceedings.

AJ faces of with Nakamura as they stand each side of the ladder. They put it aside and look to lock up.  There can only be one winner. Rights and lefts exchanged between them with Nakamura getting hold of Styles from behind. He hits a suplex and moves to the corner. AJ counters with a deadly diving right hand.

Both competitors are down. Eventually they come to and climb the ladder simultaneously. Both of them are weary and also high up, probably the best view in the house. Corbin returns to push the ladder down. He climbs and grabs the brief case. The bell rings for the end of Heel Mania!

 

Result: Baron Corbin wins MITB

Verdict: Really an all heel winning PPV. Good match but really?  

 

PPV Verdict: I would be pissed if had stayed up to watch this event. It’s flawed in so many ways and just felt like a middle film or book to a series with everything held back! Most of it was predictable and somewhat half cooked, especially as all of the heels won.  Speaking of books, you should buy mine here on amazon….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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UK General Election Results Live

 

UK politics has never been so interesting and meh at the same time. Here’s my live account of the 2017 UK general election as it happened….

The disclaimer is I haven’t listed all the separate results but most of the ones that are notable and of course the main highlights! #democracy

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Live feed___________________________________

Current State of Results:

Conservative:  318    Labour: 261

SNP: 34        Liberal: 12     Green: 1

Plaid Cymru : 4   Independent/others: 15

 

 

16:36: There is talks of the conservatives forming a government with the DUP.

16:32: I’m back after being asleep most of the afternoon. Turns out I didn’t miss much! Theresa May is looking to form a government of the minority persuasion. But more importantly one of my bet’s came in!

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06:15: And so no party can achieve a majority. Check in some time soon to hear the latest…

 

06:09: RESULT ALERT: Southampton Test : Labour Hold

06:08: RESULT ALERT: Brighton Pavilion: Green Party Hold

06:07: Sky Bet released odds of 10/1 for Boris Johnson to be the next PM. LOLOLOLOLOL 

06:05: NO PARTY CAN WIN A MAJORITY

06:01: FORECAST IS HUNG PARLIAMENT (OR ARE YOU JUST HAPPY TO SEE ME?)

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06:00: Best voting turn out since ’97 suggesting many more young people came out to vote this time around.

Central London is looking mostly red at the moment:

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Here’the breakdown via a map at 05:52

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Approaching the 6am mark, hello if you have just joined us. Weird but interesting night…

Highlights include: Boris is in, Corbyn is in, Abott is in, May is in, Elmo isnt. SNP may have all the power here in deciding to who to align with but if they refuse tory coalition then its gonna be a re match!

05:33: The pound has taken a big drop against both the US dollar and Euro.

 

Well its looking more and more like a coalition…

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How did this even happen? #justsaying

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05:28: RESULT ALERT: Hackney North and Stoke Newington – Labour Hold 

05:25: Hung Parliament looking likely as Conservative and Labour aren’t close enough for a majority right now

 

05:22: RESULT ALERT: Wansbeck – Labour Hold 

05:01: RESULT ALERT: HENLEY – Conservative Hold… there goes one of my bets…

05:00: BBC: ‘Tories to fall short of majority’

The gulf between tory and Labour is increasing as we arrive at 5AM!

Highlight: Amber Rudd (home secretary) just about scrapes her way in to hold her seat.

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04:53: RESULT ALERT: East Sussex/Hastings : Tory Hold (just about) 

04:50: News circulating of Amber Rudd’s constituency result being imminent. The current home secretary is looking to hold her seat for East Sussex

Meme o clock

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04:46: News coming in of a second re count at Richmond Park. ‘100 votes between candidates’.

The 4am turning point has put Conservative out in front with out any signs of slowing down, a result crawls closer!

04:30: RESULT ALERT: Colne Valley : Labour gain

Coalition is the dirty word currently and its being used a lot.

04:25: RESULT ALERT : Milton Keynes South : Conservative Hold

04:24: RESULT ALERT: Edinburgh East : SNP Hold 

04:22: RESULT ALERT: Gillingham and Rainham – Conservative hold

Results still coming in…

04:21: Tories now ahead for the first time with 239

A lot of talk coming out about a coalition between independent’s and Tory.

Highlight : 04:16: Nicola Sturgeon of SNP willing to discuss options for a coalition depending on ‘arithmetic’ and hails Theresa May’s efforts as ‘disastrous’. 

04:11: Conservative go ahead for the first time this morning with 221

04:09: 220 Labour 220 Conservative, looking like extra time then penalties…

Hows that for a line up! Theresa May at one end, Lord Buckethead in the middle and Elmo on the right who both got votes!

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Highlight 04:00: And there is literally 1 point between them. This is the moment where one winner will have to break away..

Both Labour and Conservative pass the 200 mark! Still so close!

03:57: RESULT ALERT: Beaconsfield: Conservative Hold 

03:56: RESULT ALERT : Slough : Labour Hold 

03:53: RESULT ALERT : Edinburgh West : Lib Dem Gain 

Nearly 4am with no signs of this thing slowing down, I’m predicting we could have a result in the next hour or so!

Labour have currently gained 22 seats this election as the difference between red and blue closes even more.

03:47: RESULT ALERT: Durham North West – Labour Hold

03:45 RESULT ALERT : Reading West – Conservative Hold

03:44 : Just 10 points sit between Labour and Conservative!

03:42: RESULT ALERT : Canterbury : Labour gain : The first time since 1918! Old skool

The gap is closing between red and blue, in other news UKIP is a phail. Yes I spelt that with a ph.

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Some more talk about May only being planned conservative leader for the next 3 months.

03:37: RESULT ALERT: Hayes and Harlington – Labour Hold – John Mcdonnell and my old home

With brexit negotiations planned for 11 days time, has Teresa May made a colossal mistake? Find out, right now….

Labour still comfortably ahead here, interesting! Conservative are still behind but are catching up as they both near 200!

Highlight: Tim Farron holds Liberal seat

03:27: RESULT ALERT : West Moreland : Lib Dem Hold – Tim Farron

Jeremy Paxman on May: ‘this country needs stability? Give me a break’

03:26 Reports of Tim Farron result happening soon

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Highlight : Theresa May keeps Maidenhead seat.

03:18: RESULT ALERT: Maidenhead – Conservative Hold – Teresa May back in

03:17 Theresa May making her way to press conference stage at the Maidenhead constituency count.

03:16: RESULT ALERT: Bath : Lib Dem Gain

03:14: Reports coming in that Theresa May has arrived at the count in Maidenhead constituency. The camera then cut to the back of a man wearing an elmo costume!

Highlight : Jeremy Corbyn Holds his Islington North Seat. Pledges to represent ‘as best as I can’.

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03:04 : RESULT ALERT : Islington North – Labour Hold 

03:00 RESULT ALERT: Twickenham – Liberal Gain – Vince Cable is back! 

Labour have been ahead the whole night, the same happened with Trump last year. Not once was Trump behind and look what happened!

02:57: RESULT ALERT : DONCASTER – Labour hold – Ed Milliband back in

Highlight : Boris Johnson retains seat

02:48: RESULTS ALERT : UXBRIDGE and RUISLIP SOUTH – Conservative Hold from Boris Johnson

Highlight : Nick Clegg looses seat to Labour

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02:45 RESULTS ALERT : Sheffield Hallam – Labour Gain from Nick Clegg! 

02:43: RESULTS ALERT: Wirral South – Labour Hold – Sutton Coldfield – Conservative hold

Nick Clegg seen looking ‘somber’ as reports continue to stir about Liberal falling apart.

02:41: RESULTS ALERT: Conservative hold both : Wyre Forest and Rochford 

BBC are predicting Teresa May might not get enough votes for her tory party to have a majority!

02:33- RESULT ALERT – Inverclyde – SNP hold 

02:33 RESULTSALERT – Tamworth – Conservative hold 

02:32– RESULT ALERT – Bristol South – Labor Hold 

Early reports are arising of Liberal Democrats not doing well at all!

02:30 RESULTS ALERT:  Surrey East and Hertfordshire North East – Conservative Hold 

02:29 RESULT ALERT:  Bury North- Labour Gain 

02:28: RESULT ALERT:  Runnymede & Weybridge- Conservative Hold 

02:27: RESULT ALERT: Na H-Eileanan An Iar – SNP hold 

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Some more SNP seats being lost to both Conservative and Labour, this could be the scottish revolt that sways things!

02:18: RESULT ALERT – Barnsley East – Labour Hold 

02:08: RESULT ALERT: Battersea – Labour Gain – An impressive gain for Labour as predicted. 

02:07 RESULTS ALERT : Angus : Conservative gain from SNP / Folkestone and Hythe- Conservative Hold! 

02:04: RESULTS ALERT: SNP OFF THE MARK WITH: Dunbartonshire , Dundee East and Erewash

02:04: SEVERAL RESULTS ALERT: Labour hold the following: Tynemouth , Warley , and Vale of Clwyd is a Labour Gain 

Things are looking very Labour at the moment, maybe one of my cheeky bets could come in!

01:27 RESULTS ALERT: HALTON, BIRKENHEAD and Tooting – Labour Hold

01:26: RESULT ALERT – Makerfield – Labour Hold 

01:26: RESULT ALERT – Basildon South – Conservative Hold 

01:26: RESULT ALERT – Leigh – Labour Hold 

 

David Mitchell quote of the night so far:  ‘what would happen to democracy if we didn’t have so many leisure centers?’

01:24 RESULT ALERT – North Down – Independent Hold 

01:23 RESULT ALERT – Rutherglen – Labour Gain (Another scottish one!)

01:22 RESULT ALERT – Wigan – Labour Hold 

As predicted SNP are losing seats in Scotland and the first one has gone to Labour, could a Scottish revolution help Corbyn win the keys to Downing Street?

01:16 RESULT ALERT – Rutherglen and Hamilton West – Labour Gain

01:15:  RESULTS ALERT – Llanelli – Labour hold / Swindon South: Conservative hold

01:10: RESULT ALERT – WREXHAM – Labour Hold 

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01:06 : Reports coming out the UKIP are going to completely collapse.

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01:02: RESULT ALERT- Basildon South – Conservative Hold 

01:00: Analysts predicting Labour could take Kensington and Battersea! Watch this space. The cheese and onion pastie was good by the way…

RESULT ALERT – South Shields – Labour Hold 

00:51: RESULT ALERT – Darlington – Labour Hold 

00:50 RESULT ALERT X 3 – Middlesbrough – Labour Hold / Workington – Labour Hold 

Basildon & Billericay – Conservative hold

 

00:39 – Eating microwaved Pizza.

00:38 RESULT ALERT – Broxbourne – Conservative Hold 

00:36 RESULT ALERT – Nuneaton – Conservative Hold 

00:28 RESULT ALERT – Kettering – Conservative Hold 

00:19 – I am very much enjoying the comedic banter on display via channel 4. No matter what happens, let’s all just have a laugh.

00:08 – RESULT ALERT – Sunderland West – Labour Hold 

09/06/2017 – Results Day is here

23:59 : RESULT ALERT – Swindon North – Conservative Hold (8000) Majority

23:44 – RESULT ALERT – Sunderland Central – Labour Hold

23:22 – Watching channel 4 and BBC’s coverage. Making a cup of tea. Lib dems rule out coalition, well we shall see! The line up for Channel 4’s alternative coverage is pretty diverse. Former MPs ( Anne Widecombe) comedian David Mitchell and of course Jeremy Paxman, got to love a bit of Jezza!

23:15 : RESULT ALERT – Newcastle Upon Tyne Central – Labour Hold

23:11 FIRST RESULT ALERT – Houghton and Sunderland South – Labour Hold

22:30 – Heading off into the night to work. This time of year at 11pm in the UK it’s still a little light out and only really gets dark for three hours. Will the sun rise before a new government?

22:00 – Exit polls are suggesting a hung parliament whilst others are suggesting Conservative will win. Numbers are predicted as follows:

Con- 314 Lab- 266 – Lib – 14 SNP – 34 Others – 22

19:00 – I skipped my way down to the local polling station to see it mainly deserted. Put a cross in a box and trundled on back home for oven pizza and to watch Buffy and then Angel. Might have put a couple of bets on a few results for the election.

08/06/2017 – Polling Day

 

 

 

 

 

What’s next for Lee Hall…

I agree the title of this month’s final blog entry is a little self centered but you have to be that in order to write a blog. It’s all about the me apparently and so my second book release has been and gone, sales are still trickling in bringing it to around 20 units sold so far.

My conclusion right now is yes Darke Blood has been a success for an independent author like me but right now I have done all I can to market the book. Much like Open Evening or any book; real success takes investment of time and along the way I have learned a hell of a lot. And now I even have a back catalogue, groovy right?

So what is next for me? Well as an independent author I mostly have control over what I plan to release and what I want to work on next. The turn around time from finishing a draft to publication is around a year or maybe less depending on the quality of the story and availability of editor/publisher/cover artists.

 “Good ol’ ‘CH'”

Yes for those who are aware of the ending of my first book Open Evening (I wont spoil it, that much), it ended with a nod towards where the story was going to go next. The word Cemetery House in all it’s damning glory was mentioned in the final pages and yes that is what I am currently drafting at the moment! I guess that’s an exclusive scoop, of course I will announce that officially when I am ready. But let’s just say I am around 30,000 words in.

Darke Blood 2?

All I can say is read the first one, then we’ll talk about a sequel! Review it and let people know about it. And yes Darke Blood and Open Evening are connected in a way or two.

A super hero comedy book!

Back in 2015 when I decided to drop the series of books about robots in the future I came to a proverbial fork in the road, I was either going to write Open Evening or try having a go at a comic book style hero story. At the time I had more story to go on with Open Evening and so I wrote it, over the last few years I have gathered some ideas of how to make this potential super hero book work, so watch this space.

Acting? No I was just asleep..

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I have been taking a break as of lately in terms of all things stage, and by that I mean all things Iver Heath Drama Club. My efforts were needed towards Darke Blood and IHDC’s current production nodded heavily towards giving their youthful demographic a chance with some big roles for their up and coming show Peter Pan! So naturally I thought it was appropriate to step back for a while and maybe recharge a little.

Right now I have every intention to return to the stage for auditions in the late summer for the next IHDC pantomine show; I hope I still have something relevant to offer in my forever hopefulness of getting a larger role this year, we shall see.

Iver Heath Drama Club presents Peter Pan tickets available now online! Support local live entertainment! 

 

And remember every writer needs reviews for their work, if you have read either of my books, be cool and leave a review!

And here are a few highlights of social media from the week… Click on them and they take you places!

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Darke Blood Goodreads Giveaway

It’s time for a Giveaway! Yes free stuff alert, because I have began a Goodreads giveaway for my latest book Darke Blood…

You can get your hands on a signed copy of my latest book by entering the giveaway for free here! In order to enter you can sign in to Goodreads through Facebook making this whole deal a lot easier than signing up to a site you may not use often. I am asking for an honest review in exchange of entering the giveaway because it’s all about reviews, reviews and more reviews! Over 100 people have entered so far!

With publication day and the release of Darke Blood behind me now its up to the rest of the world to help spread the word about the book. Reviews are what sell books and must I implore you to leave one on either amazon or goodreads  or both; even if you are only a portion of the way though Darke Blood, every review helps! 

And some of you have been fantastic in showing your support, the #darkeblood selfie movement has begun which is massive in getting the book seen across social media.

Publication Day! Darke Blood out now!

The day is finally here! My second book Darke Blood is officially out now! The selfies already started earlier this week after I kicked off proceedings on Instagram where I can happily say we have already broke records with the amount of likes it recieved.

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That many likes for something without a cat, food or cleavage…

And that is all I want out of this book, growth and evolution. A few more sales and few more likes than last time will make me a happy independently published author.   Above all more reviews on Amazon and hopefully Goodreads will grant this project a success, so please if you read my work leave a review!

I must take this opportunity to thank everyone for their support towards Darke Blood, this was indeed the hardest story I have ever struggled to tell and seeing the whole thing come together with your support has been fantastic. Being a two time author makes this all seem like I am more than just a lucky one off guy who published one book, plus it gives readers a back catalogue to delve into if they like my work.

If you like Darke Blood and survive the ride,  the twists and the turns then I guarantee you will be a reader of my stuff for years to come. This one really tests the boundaries for the reader as well as tell an atmospheric psychological story of redemption and identity. And yeah there are vampires, witches and some connections to Open Evening!

This hasn’t been a sole effort and I must thank my editor and publisher Nicky from Satin Publishing for helping me so much develop this story into what was an initial draft all the way to polished published book. Darke Blood went through many minor and major changes throughout the drafting and editing process. My next thank you goes to Design for Writers , they simply gave this book an identity by creating a fantastic looking cover. I was really stumped as to what I wanted this one to look like so Design for Writers saved me in that sense and the outcome is a world class looking cover.

All there is left for to say is thank you everyone, I have achieved my dream once again and now it’s over to you to help me find some success with it. Let’s start a new selfie movement with Darke Blood and remember your shares, likes and comments are what generates buzz about this, and will ultimately decide its success!

Happy publication Day!

And heres the direct link to the book…

My second book cover… Revealed

OKAY EVERYONE HERE IT IS….

THE COVER OF DARKE BLOOD IN ALL IT’S GLORY…

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ARE YOU READY??

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Andrew and Rebecca from Design for Writers have put in some fantastic work with this cover and I think we can all agree it looks awesome! 

The final steps are approaching for the publication of my second book but there is still so much to do. As we get closer to publication day on the 25th I will be organizing a Facebook event to gather everyone for an online launch. Your likes, shares and comments are what will make this book a success and I have to thank you all for the continued following and support.

Any big news from now on will first break via my email list, so sign up today via email (box up in the top right corner) and you will be the first to get stuff (this includes free books/material). 

Rock and roll man…

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Alien Covenant Review

The Saturday morning blog is back! This time I am armed with a review of the new Alien film which was indeed a sequel to Prometheus which was indeed sigh worthy but I went into the cinema with partial hope.

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First of all; I don’t listen to film review people, as far as I am concerned they are full of sh** , let’s face it they are. You know that and so do I, they are either so far up the rear end of a film or the quite the opposite. Here you will read an honest review with a focus on what was good and what wasn’t so good. I think we all owe Ridley Scott some respect for sticking to a series of films and his overall contribution to cinema should never be overlooked.

And that’s where we will start; Alien, Prometheus, Gladiator and now Alien Covenant to name a few. Ridley Scott makes some awesome looking films, you’ll never see him skimp out on production value and this especially goes for the world he has built with Alien. The industrious environment of spaceships and far off planets are always created with a realism in mind. I guess I shall have to nod towards production design as well as a director or writers vision. But in order to make a good film you can’t rely on visuals alone, you need story, performance, tone, theme and plot.

Quite honestly Alien Covenant ticked many boxes but it also fell short in some ways. For much of the beginning portions of the film I felt as if this was an Alien remake, and look we are in the days of constant recycling of material, stuff that works I guess and initally Alien Covenant worked.

First of all we are shown our first billed actor Michael Fassbender his performance as a robot is arguably the best we have seen in this series so far, without treading on the likes of Bishop (Aliens) and Ash (Alien). And a very strong theme in this film is robots or at least Fassbender’s character. So what seems like an intriguing start the main narrative of the film then begins.

A colony ship called the Covenant is on it’s way to a distant planet, events turn quite unlucky and dark at the very beginning so the crew are awakened out of hyper sleep. As they recover from the events and begin repairing damage there comes a distress type signal with it’s origin not far from them. Already this formula sounds rather familiar with some changes and of course comfortable stuff that stays the same throughout an Alien film. We see a diverse range of characters who make up the crew of Covenant including a Captain seemingly out of depth with the arising situation and some familiar faces from recent film which all put in believable performances.

Eventually the crew arrive at the source of this distress type call, that being a distant habitable planet. At this point the build up and introduction of the story is paced well with the ever important element of mystery in the story. What is this getting to? What’s coming? are the sort of questions you ask yourself at this point.

The unlucky element of this arriving crew strikes again with a sinister level of disaster. In moments everything falls apart for them, two members become infected with a new type of organism (which is very alien like) but not shown before or explored in this world and that’s what I feel Ridley Scott is trying to do here, he’s trying to bring his Alien story full circle and with this film we are only half way there.

Eventually the connection to Prometheus kicks in but don’t let that put you off, everything is explained with in this film’s narrative. Soon enough Michael Fassbender is face to face with the character David he played in the previous outing and this was done well. The whole robotic morality thing is touched upon here as they meet but the sinister edge turns even more as this crew are taken in by David.

As much as I would like to give the rest away, that’s not how we do reviews on here. So let’s cover the good and bad.

The good

This felt a lot more like an Alien film as opposed to Prometheus. There was suspense and real tension. The scenes didn’t jump around and most of the time Covenant focused on one story instead of trying to tell five. This means all of the scenes shown were indeed necessary. Prometheus didn’t know what it was but this one was a horror film.

The characters: many of these personalities we have seen before but they were great, Michael Fassbender, Katherine Waterston (Fantastic Beasts) and Danny Mcbride (Pineapple Express) all stood out to me.

It continued on from Prometheus and was way better than it. This time we saw an actual Alien we all know well and this time around it seemed more lethal than ever. This may have been due to the use of computer generation of the Alien but gave it an Alien Isolation (video game) feel.

The visuals and sets were awesome as always and kept to the theme of previous films.

The music choice this time was better than Prometheus, and nodded to Alien more.

Robots in this were more of a big deal and less of just a side threat.

The not so good

Bad is a big word to use for a film and Alien Covenant wasn’t. But there were things that weren’t so great.

It was predictable, most of the time we knew what was coming. There were only a few Alien related things we hadn’t seen before.

There were a few moments where things didn’t get explained or where they expected you to fill in the gaps ( don’t do that in a film).

The twists nearer to the end could have easily been called from early on. You could even say some twists just shat on the audience at the end.

This doesn’t wrap up the series: unfortunately we aren’t there yet folks!

Conclusion

For what felt like an Alien Remake to begin with this film took it’s own identity but continued to nod towards the original. If you use Jurassic World as an example, that film nodded to the original but cut its own path more. Alien Covenant just felt as if it was up Alien’s ass too much.

Most importantly for any Alien fan and to my conclusion its worth a look! Prometheus was a solid 3/10 this one is north of 5/10.

 

Any Other Business

Next week things are really going to hot up towards my next book arriving. Darke Blood should hopefully get a cover reveal at some point! I have also started a sale on my first book Open Evening which is available as an e-book for £0.99! 

Free Pre Release Content is available if you sign up via email to this blog. I’m talking free books for loyal followers!! Sign up today peeps!

Great Conspiracy Theories

Before you scroll past this blog link which seems like click-bait, it isn’t. If there’s one thing I love it’s a good conspiracy theory. As the internet becomes more and more powerful and public free speech continues in most places there will always be conspiracy theories. So here’s my take on some personal favorites. And there may be a special very soon to be relevant theory that may just be fiction, or not…. (nudge/ wink) 

Roswell 1947 – Present day!

Many will say this is where the birth of the ufologists came from, yes there is a name for people who study this stuff. I have even had the pleasure of working with someone who used to be a ufologist and seeing as I love a conspiracy we have spent many a night shift discussing this stuff.

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In 1947 something crashed on a ranch near Roswell, New Mexico. Wikipedia says it was a balloon and so did the military, but the press and eyewitnesses said something different. Of course in all reports like this there are difference of accounts and opinions. Some people saw a ‘flying disc’ and those who found wreckage of what crashed was made from a material described as ‘nothing made on this earth’. So how could this be a weather balloon? Further witness reports even suggested ‘bodies’ were removed from the crash site wreckage. Aliens?

Over the years many people tried to debunk what the military firstly reported, there were books written and several eye witness accounts going into the hundreds. Roswell itself cashed in big on the theory and see’s tourists flock there every year. But what did really happen?

In the 90’s the US military eventually released two statements. Firstly they concluded the wreckage was most likely from a high altitude surveillance balloon used in something called Project Mogul. Then they tried to explain the presence of ‘bodies’ recovered from the wreckage. Memories of accidents involving military aircraft combined with them using dummies in previous projects were to blame for people thinking they saw ‘bodies’ when they didn’t. Seems legit huh?

Either way Roswell was a cool conspiracy theory and the alien autopsy that came out in the 90’s adds a new spin on the whole thing, but was proved to be a hoax.

The Solway Firth Spaceman

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You cant help but let your imagination jump to several conclusions when you see this pic. Now to me the figure seen behind the little girl looks like somebody fencing (sword fighting).

Taken way back in 1964 by a man named Jim Templeton in Cumbria UK, he seems to have captured more than he bargained for. Many people contest that this photo is indeed an alien or spaceman. Mr Templeton claimed at the time the photo was taken there was nobody in the background so it wasn’t until he got them back from Kodak that he saw this.

Kodak confirmed the photo was genuine and hadn’t been tampered with. He even took it to the local police who found nothing suspicious about it. To make things strange Jim was even approached by two people who claimed to work for the government. They asked him to show them the site and then abruptly left after. Weird or what?

The Darke Crusader

This is a largely unknown one, but still cool if you get my drift? So back in the early 2000’s a forum appeared on the now defunct or forgotten geocities web hosting service (remember that?). The original site was deleted long ago but someone did manage to grab a few screen shots of the original forum.

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The Darke Crusader whom runs this forum talks of visiting a town where things start to get weird. The last entry talks of this ‘crusader’ going into the forest. That was the last anyone heard of the host. The only trace left is of this website which appeared recently.

The Dylatov Pass Incident

After spending many hours of boredom combing YouTube and Google I stumbled across what is my favorite and creepiest conspiracy theory.

The Ural mountains, Russia, 1959; cold war territory. A group of mountain trekkers braved the snow on a expedition which would claim their lives. All of them were highly experienced on the mountains. During their hike the weather gradually worsened and moved the group off course. They eventually set up camp on an open mountain side as opposed to a nearby forest area which would provide better coverage from the elements. None of them knew at that point that was their final camp.

Eventually the group were reported missing and rescue efforts were mounted. All 9 of the expedition were found dead but this is where it gets really weird. Their tents were torn from the inside and there were signs of the group fleeing the area without adequate clothing for the weather. They were running from something.

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The camp discovered later on by a rescue team

 

Initial investigations confirmed 6 of the group died of hypothermia whilst the others had signs of trauma caused by something physical.  Another suffered brain damage but with no obvious cause from impact. What made this even weirder was one woman was found with her tongue and eyes missing. Some of the group were found separately whist others had grouped together, but what happened to those people on the mountains of Ural?

Well the camp showed no signs of intruders, the group left there willingly. Many of the injuries they had couldn’t have been caused by an animal such as a bear. There was a theory suggested an indigenous people lived near by, but were believed to be peaceful.

The bodies and condition of their organs was never made public.

Other hikers 50km away from the camp reported the sight of ‘orange spheres’ seen in the sky that night which points towards military. But the investigation concluded a ‘compelling force’ had caused the Dylatov Pass incident, but maybe we will never know. There are some great resources of this theory on youtube but remember when your watching this stuff at 2am, don’t have nightmares….

My New Book: A Retrospective

May has arrived, and for me this is the biggest month of my writing life! Darke Blood arrives in a mere few weeks so this entry is a dedicated retrospective of all things Darke. I will be talking about the story, the inspiration behind it and of course my extensive attack based marketing plan which is already in full swing! This is Darke Blood, a retrospective look.

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 My first real television hero in life was female. Many of you will know whom I am referring to but before the days of the Avengers and the seemingly endless tirade of cape wearing redemption seekers there was Buffy Summers. One of the very first female leads in television that was perceived as strong and later on independent. This might not appear a big deal today but we still have a very long way to go in terms of diversity in all forms of storytelling,  although cliché does have a big factor to play in that but so does society.

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Joss Whedon created Buffy with a view to flip cliché and embrace the quirky differences many of us have. The real horror in a world of vampire slaying wasn’t the demons coming out of the hell mouth below the high school, it was the high school (something I used in Open Evening). A clever and different story followed from this premise with the introduction of a character orientated story and the ever important humour that brings it away from any real darkness. As the high school in Buffy crumbled so did the change of horror, now it was surviving college and struggling to date someone who’s actually mortal. Eventually it shifted again with adulthood becoming the real theme of Buffy, either way the characters had each other to deal with whatever life faced them and that is above all what inspired me to write stories, the resolve.

After finishing my first published novel Open Evening, there came a decision I needed to make. What next? Very quickly the genre of vampires and witches came to mind, but there were two reasons for this. Firstly I had always wanted to do vampires just to pay homage to my favourite television hero and secondly, these stories still sell and are arguably more popular than ever. If you look at TV and literature, in the last decade there has been more than one big time vampire or witch story . So to me this seemed like the perfect idea to step into.

I’ve already shared the somewhat painful drafting process Darke Blood I went through so I wont dwell on it but there was the question of what exactly does it pay homage to? Well, stories speak to people in different ways, go ahead and read a book you’ve read before, give it a few years and your perception, mood and current lifestyle all come to play in how you perceive it, sometimes it will even change.

As I have read through Darke Blood after the several edits and of course the back and forth with my editor, I think I have finally grasped what it’s about and what it really pays homage to. That being strong female lead characters and our need for them even more so today.

Hence I have come full circle in life, from sitting in front of the TV as a 12 year old kid on a Thursday night, to writing my own take on Buffy. And if you ask me Darke Blood is so much more than homage to a TV show which broke boundaries back in the day.

But isn’t the main character in Darke Blood male?

In essence there are two lead characters in Darke Blood one is male and the other is female. But throughout the narrative our female is the stronger and somewhat a leader, but it isn’t about breaking down those boundaries because Buffy did that, this is about that concept working alongside with the other.

What set’s Darke Blood aside from other stories of the same genre?

Well this book doesn’t spend the whole time paying homage to Buffy, it has an independent identity and my own take on vampires. We are all led to believe that vampire stories have to fit into a certain set of rules, rules which have just been there since the Van Helsing days. You know, using garlic and having to invite a vampire in. Instead of these tales of folklore, why not add a little science to vampires? Maybe even define vampirism as a disease which in fact could one day be cured. What if there was a blood substitute, after all it’s a chemical right?

Same goes for my take on witchcraft. If you break that word down, you are left with ‘craft’, so what if there were different particular crafts? Again I used the science route to redefine and somewhat invent my own version of magic but strictly keeping it close to a reality where this stuff could actually be possible.

Both vampirism and witchcraft are just sub-themes, as much as they are unique selling points that give the book it’s rounded appeal, the main theme of Darke Blood is identity. Main character Blake Malone soon finds conflict within himself as the realization comes apparent that his memory seems to be blocked. Along the way of trying to resolve this conflict he discovers the forces of vampirism and witchcraft accompanied by some very special nods towards Open Evening. I will say no more.

How are you going to implement Darke Marketing?

My first book was always going to be a trial and error experience. Many lessons were learned and a lot of stuff came up that I probably should have done but wouldn’t have been aware of unless I took the plunge into publishing (if you get what I mean?).

In terms of marketing as an independent author I am pretty much the General or architect of my own success. But social media is the king of book sales and so my efforts towards it have gone up tenfold this time.

What I have already done

Teaser Trailer

This was my first experience of making something like this and to be fully honest it looks okay. The whole idea of this trailer was to get the name out there and of course the release date. Over 700 people have viewed it so far, and if I can convert even a small percentage of that figure into sales then we shall be off to a good start. I even had some good people share it which is always fantastic so thanks to those that did.

Emailed my subscribers/ people I know who would like the book/people whose email I have

Yep if you’re lucky you may have an email from me in your junk box. This sort of thing is imperative to get the word out early. Loyal friends are great way to get in early reviews and get the ball rolling. Sign up now by following this blog with your email address to receive future stuff for free.

What will you be doing?

Book cover reveal blog post

Book cover reveal FB post

Book cover trailer (Maybe)

Facebook online launch event – invite people to share the link

Going live on FB- Maybe a Q and A if anyone actually cares (maybe)

Facebook Advertising

Goodreads exclusive UK giveaway

Ask some peeps to guest blog on my site

Incite people to take a book selfie – this really sold books last time

Press release to local and national press

Instagram posts (something that is book related and not just booze or food)

Email my loyal followers – sign up on this site today to receive future news first and even exclusive pre sale content.

So as you can see I have a huge list of stuff planned. This month there will be all hands on deck from me to give Darke Blood the best chance it has of being a success. I do hope you can join me, this story isn’t just about vampires, witches and identity. It isn’t just about a homage to Buffy or female lead characters. It’s about all of them and so much more!

Next Book Release Date Confirmed…

Yes you read the title of this post correctly! I officially have a release date for my next book Darke Blood.

Things are getting pretty busy around stately Hall manor right about now and most of my efforts are now pointing towards the official release date of Darke Blood which is….

Thursday May 25th

Of course this hasn’t been a journey of solitude and again I have a wonderful book team; both Nicky Fitzmaurice of Satin Publishing and Design For Writers will be reprising their roles in helping me bring an awesome book to you.

Another huge member of my book team is you, my valued reader whom I do this for. Open Evening was a huge learning curve and somewhat a success, none of what I have achieved in writing would be possible without my readers. Thank you all for the support, likes and follows. Together we are a successful unit of independent publishing.

There were many times throughout the drafting of Darke Blood where I thought it wouldn’t make it as a book. Truth is this one was hard, really really hard. But I got through, mainly due to the support of my wonderful readers and people of Facebook and twitter. So here I stand just under a month away from another book release.

I have just put together a short trailer for the book which can be seen via my Facebook page, something which I didn’t do last year, even though I probably should of. My marketing strategy for this one will indeed be more detailed with giveaways planned and of course another book selling selfie movement which I will be forever thankful for.

So what’s Darke Blood about you ask? And is it a sequel to Open Evening?

My short answer to the sequel question is no, sort of. This is a standalone story set in the same universe as Open Evening. If you read either when they are both available you will see they are linked with the view of an eventual crossover of stories. Darke Blood explores the occult and witchcraft along with one of my all time favorite things, Vampires, which seem to never go out of fashion. This is my own take on the above and is a little different.

So what’s it about, well here’s the blurb….

‘There are more than shadows lurking in the darkness of those trees.’

Blake Malone is in search of a new start, he arrives in the remote forest town of Darke Heath. The memory of his past oddly becomes a blur as he discovers this place isn’t what it seems.

Malone shares a romantic encounter with someone who reveals herself to be a ‘creature of the night’ and he learns of her story which intertwines with the history of the ‘Heath’. Together they must face the evil forces of vampirism and witchcraft that lay in the Darke forest.

But just who is Blake Malone? That’s something even he must fight to discover. Because ‘you’ve never known true darkness…’

 

Darke Blood arrives on the 25th of May in both paperback and e-book formats!!!