Weekly Ramble #4

Responsibility is something that keeps jumping out at me seemingly. I feel a changing or shifting in life as of recent with some things being inevitable whilst other stuff is just appearing.

I turned 29 this month and I stand at the end of one interesting decade in my life. There were a few years in which I couldn’t accept what is just a number, then like this year I’m handling it. Life can distract one from the deep thoughts, it’s good to go deep every so often but this train is moving full steam ahead in what has been a volatile yet rewarding 8 months. Maybe there isn’t time toreflect that I am now a fully fledged adult in a world where responsibility seems to be the defining word.

This week my first full length script moves to center stage and is responsible not only for the story I have created, but for 18 cast members who will be auditioning and then bringing that tale to life. As much as the burden is shared by directors, cast members, ensemble artists, sound tech’s, back stage crew and lighting designers, the actual story falls upon my shoulders. A responsibility I am coming to terms with. This is the first occasion where my work stands open and ready for judging in such a capacity, maybe  inevitable but still all the more daunting. And after all of that, I still have to audition myself and continue on wards as a performer who is in the final days of a near 10 year run of lead parts.

I decided to write this script in order to create first and foremost, secondly I did it because there are performers who deserve better opportunities than the usual elite few, and if I wrote those opportunities, people would take them. As much as I would love recognition, I haven’t done this for the audience, I took this opportunity to give back to a drama club which has given me so much, even confidence to write in the first place. And now a new generation deserve their start via a project which will hopefully provide it for them, my script.

My work life destiny sets to come to a head as I work my way towards a promotion, a life changing prospect where my job environment won’t change but the level in which I am held accountable will. Responsibility emerges yet again where it hasn’t before. First I will have to pass an interview which includes a presentation. Ground which I have never covered before. This truly is a make or break moment for me and my future, although right now I feel no pressure, maybe I am ready, we’ll see.

Moving into my own home is the inevitable responsibility which shall emerge by the end of this year, something I have worked towards since I was sixteen. Now I am 29 and in the final stage as what the world perceives as youth. I have zero regrets in any of the live’s I have led, work, performer, writer and even partner to my significant other. All of those pillars have created the life I have led and so I stand face to face with the next chapter, in order for me to pass on to it, I must embrace responsibility and take it in my stride.

Quite recently I have taken on the responsibility to look out for fellow authors, some have even come to me about previous gripes and compared notes with me. First and foremost I am here to speak with fellow authors and to help prevent them from being taken advantage of.

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