100 Days until the UK General Election : A somewhat humorous Guide

Yes folks it’s that time again for some of us to express our democratic right and have some part in choosing the next person we can all blame for not having any money and other stuff.

It seems this year the election is wide open, as opposed to normally being a two horse race between team red and team blue. Last time saw the emergence of team yellow and Nick Clegg shortly followed by his demise, quicker than a student can drop a fire extinguisher from a building.

Come with me as I take a brief look at the top political parties looking to gain some ground in the 2015 UK general election.

all parties

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Conservative (current champions, only because Nick Clegg’s Liberal party shared his votes with them so they could form a coalition government)

Headed by our prime minister David Cameron, he will be looking for an outright victory this time round, but honestly I really cant say what’s gonna happen (like I know). It will be interesting what he has to say when the live television debates happen. Hopefully he will be more prepared than the prank caller was.

titand

Liberal Democrats

Clegg’s team will be looking to scrape back some level of respect after his u turn on student fees. Doubt that will happen.

(I am trying to do the right thing here and insult every party, that way everyone is cared about)

Labour

Ed Miliband is the man for Labour, I just don’t know If labour is for him. Like the two above parties they are all considered as the top 3 (well they are statistically) but the parties below will be challenging them. This time it could even be serious. So Labour may loose more than they have gained in recent times.

SNP – Scottish National Party

Only contending for seats in Scotland they have gained much ground in recent times. Especially after the referendum last year. If they win out right in Scotland they will hop over team Clegg and become the 3rd biggest party in the UK. Good luck to them, especially after the no vote for independence so perhaps this shift could help change things. (Ok notice I didn’t add an insult here, so I will just say this, I have never tried Haggis)

BNP – British National Party

Seriously? No.

UKIP- UK independence party

Armed with a leader who spends much time in a pub and a face only fit for punching Nigel Farage will be looking to steal votes from the power 3. Will he steal enough to get into downing street? Doubtful, are we worried? Yes. UKIP could be the deciding factor as to who will win.

farge

Look’s like somebody did punch him!

 

The Green Party

There are three chapters of the greens, one for Ireland, one for Scotland, then England and Wales. Another popular choice for those looking at the polling card and saying ‘None of these please’. They currently run the coastal district of Brighton. Could we see them take more places?

Plaid Cymru

Welsh party who co ordinate with SNP. Last time around they came 4th on their home soil.

 

So that’s the guide, who are you voting for? Or like me you are waiting for the politicians to make arses of themselves on the televised debates. Of course this is or UK residents only but if you could vote who would it be for? Check out a podcast I am in all this year for exclusive election coverage! And remember I have a competition running, scroll down! A grand total of 0 entries so far! Rock and Roll!!!

house

 A final note from the Hall of information 

This weekend and next I am performing in Iver Heath Drama Club’s annual pantomine; Robin Hood and the babes in the woods! Yes ladies I am Robin Hood and will be wearing those tights, come and see me and many more talented people who put together this awesome show. For tickets click here, for more info click here.

rh 1

 

 

 

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